30! Bring On More Fuck-Ups
4:00 am, watching the champions league finals! The finals usually tend to mark the year of my birth. However, this time, things are a wee bit different. This final marks my 30th!!!
YES. You've heard it right. I just turn 30 years old. That feels incredibly strange to type out and even to say it in my head
“My name is John Lai, and I’m 30 years old.”
Difficult to comprehend that I've completed one-third of my life already. I still feel and act like I’m 21. The fact that this number brings added on responsibilities, and there's no rewind button one can press to go backwards kind of freaks me out but in the same breathe, it excites me.
During these past ten years, I moved slowly up the adulthood ladder. Like any progression, I learned more about myself than I could have ever imagined. I dated many and figured out exactly the kind of qualities I wanted in a partner. I made stupid mistakes that made me looked like a fool! Made new friends, lost old ones.
In summary, positives with many fuck-ups.
So, Instead of wallowing in my own sorrows, beating up on the past decade of what ifs. Why not appreciate the learnings on being 30? and so far (7 hours in) it's not that bad.
An Incredible Milestone: My disregard to many things in my younger hair days (again, weird saying this) I've survived and done everything that needs to be done that makes me excited to see what the future holds. I look forward to the many surprises it will bring.
I think I'm wiser: My 20’s are stepping stones to get to where I needed to be by 30. As I looked back on my 20’s and remembered all that I've learned, all of the stupid mistakes I made, all of the heartbreaks, ups, and downs, and trying to figure who John Lai is. I'm glad these fuck-ups will be there, readily available for learning whenever I need it in this next ten years.
On the right path: I can say that I know exactly what I want to do, and what I need to do to get there. However, it may take a few more years to get there, but knowing that I’ve lined up all my ducks (professionally and personally) in a row feels damn good.
To more Fuck-ups: Fuck-ups to me are life lessons and for me instead of trying to avoid it like a plague, these are life's little curveballs thrown at you to keep you on your feet. So, I look forward to embracing & learning from it.
So, as I look back and think about all of the things I’ve learned, I feel lucky that everything I’m taking away from this decade I get to practice in a new one.
And so I welcome this next ten years. I’m excited. Bring on more adventures. Bring on the three oooooh and more Fuck-ups!